Film is Pwn

Check it out here.  Looks pretty doggone cool

Thankfully, I got Best Picture wrong: (more…)

The Academy Awards are tomorrow night, and I will be watching . . . if my legs are broken, the TV is on that channel, and I am unable to reach the remote or successfully gauge my eyes out before the broadcast begins.  But my disinterest in watching red carpets, solipsistic acceptance speeches, millionaires picking their favorite millionaires, etc. won’t stop me from picking the winners:  (more…)

I know a lot of folks don’t care about Tom Cruise because . . . well, you know, the craziness thing, but I really liked number three guided by J.J. Abrams (Alias, Lost, Star Trek [2009]).  And it looks like J.J. is back for # 4, yes, with Cruise.  Abrams says: “We have a really cool idea that we’re playing with and I’m looking forward to that coming to pass  . . . [T]here definitely will be a European presence but there’s a whole crazy story, it’s definitely a jet setting movie.”  Sweet!

. . . Free Willy: Escape From Pirate’s Cove! Within a month of the incident where a female Sea World trainer was drowned by a Killer Whale, a new Free Willy movie comes out: (more…)

Rather than go to the theater and see Benecio Del Toro’s remake Wolf Man (that can wait for the DVD release), I checked out a recent AMC Channel airing of the 1941 original.

Because I’m so squeamish, modern horror films hold little appeal for me.  It’s not that I don’t like being scared from time to time, rather it is just that I hate seeing blood and guts on screen.  “Disgusting” is not the same as “frightening.”  It’s not to say that fright and disgust do not co-exist or are  mutually exclusive.

A man wanders in the woods at night, his path lit by torch, a pistol clutched in his hands as he scans the bushes for sign of Monster.  That’s scary.  The Monster burst out of the woods and pounces at the man, who, in panic, fires his gun too high.  That’s scary.  Five minutes of the Monster devouring victim with a knife and fork as the victim watches his organs used to create a shish kabob.  That’s disgusting. (more…)

This might actually be funny enough to oneday re-watch Titannic (with the Rifftrax commentary, of course):

Imagine a future where you will be able to send an android double to go watch terrible movies like Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in Cop Out.  That is – sorta – the idea behind Surrogates.

In this near future sci-fi-thriller, humans live life from the comfort of their homes as their robotic stand-ins work, play, and party on their behest.  Still trying to get your head around Surrogates?  Think Avatar except no blue aliens and minus about a billion dollars in box office receipts.

The Surrogates themselves are in some cases idealized representations of humans.  Give me a robot that looks just like me except 50 pounds lighter, perfect hair, toned calves, and literal abs of steel, please!  In other instances, the Surrogate embodies nauseous role-playing.  One attractive blonde Surrogate turns out to be a fat dude living out his own fantasy and my nightmare.  Who hasn’t dreaded finally meeting Ms. Right and discovering that she’s secretly Horatio Sanz?  Just me?  *Sigh* (more…)

James Cameron is working on a prequel to Avatar, his insanely successful blockbuster.  Fortunately, this prequel is going to be a NOVEL.  So none of those distracting visuals just the story, and characters, and . . . uh . . . here’s hoping the cover is pretty.  See the article here.

Wesley Snipes says he’d do Blade 4 if the script was right.  In related news, Wesley Snipes is one bad film away personal appearances at birthday parties or — dare I say it? — an Asylum movie.  Insert your own joke here.

I recently saw a great little independent film called Following.  Generally I tend to avoid independent flicks because, quite frankly, they generally fall into one of three categories: Pretentious, amateurish, or crap.   But, every so often, there comes one that’s different, intriguing, inventive, and the sign of greatness.  Darren Arrenofsky’s Pi comes to mind, as does Primer.  Today’s subject, Following, was the feature debut of Christopher Nolan, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise that it falls into the rare category of great indy film.

In my view, Nolan’s decade (from 2000-2009) is better than any other director working.  In that time he’s given us Memento (my all-time favorite film), Insomnia (underrated Al Pacino-Robin Williams thriller), Batman Begins (revitalized the dying franchise with a brilliant flick), The Prestiege (superb mind-bender featuring Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale as rival magicians), and the Dark Knight (’nuff said).  Nolan’s next movie is Inception starring Leonardo Dicaprio, the movie I’m most looking forward to this Summer. (more…)

Meteor Apocalypse is the first film I watched from the Asylum’s sister-low-budget-studio, Faith Films.  I’ll sum up Meteor Apocalypse with two adjectives that have quite possibly never been applied in a film review: “Relieved” and “Satisfied.”

Yes, it’s a bad movie, but please let me explain: I am a Christian and thereby had a vested interest in the movie.  Most Asylum releases I sit back and enjoy the B-movie goodness as “so-bad-it’s-good.”  But this wasn’t just a B-movie, it’s a Christian B-movie!  So, Meteor Apocalypse I had a little emotional investment. 

Why do I care?  To get a perspective, imagine you’re watching a bunch of kids play T-ball.  They are running around aimlessly, falling down arbitrarily, getting distracted by passing clouds, and one is attempting to chew on the baseball rather than throw it back into the infield.  Kinda funny, right?  Not if your kid is the worst of the bunch; then it’s embarrassing. But if your kid is as good as all the other bad kids, it’s okay! (Right? Someone with kids back me up on this!) (more…)