Film is Pwn

I regularly watch the syndicated, film review TV show At The Movies (Formerly Siskel & Ebert/Ebert & Roeper) and was very surprised when both the current hosts, Michael Phillips and A.O. Scott gave reserved recommendations to the sparkly vampire vs. glittering werewolf film Twilight: New Moon that is staggeringly setting box-office records this weekend.  New York Times’ Scott did give the film perhaps the ultimate backhanded compliment and perhaps revealed a little too much about himself when he stated, and I quote:

“I know that all of America is waiting breathlessly for the opinion of two middle-aged guys on this movie. . .  I liked this too, and I say, See It.  It’s not just a movie for teenage girls, it’s a movie that turns everyone watching into a teenage girl.  And I enjoyed that.”

I believe Mr. Scott said too much, but he did give me and his co-host a hearty laugh and provided yet another reason I do not want to see the film in spite of the recommendations of two respected film critics.
Updated 11-23-09: Here’s the link to see the hilarious segment yourself, check it out.

It’s another day and another unexpected source has weighed in on tomorrow’s *cough* major motion picture, 2012.  This was brought to my attention by my brother Joseph that in MSNBC.com’s review of the combination disaster of a film/disaster film 2012, the byline actually reads:

“Doomsday film less interested in plausible truth than it is in big box-office”

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Say what you will about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, alias Transformers 2, but it dropped HUGE on DVD, moving 7.5 million copies its first week and 2 mil on the first day.  Of course, you know what this means: A potential 7.5 million in sales for the Film Is Pwn iRiff of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  Huzzah!

The winners are in:

Indie Truth Award for Best Documentary: “9500 Liberty”  Annabel Park and Eric Byler 

Indie Film Force Award for Best Narrative Feature: “In/Significant Others” John Schwert 

Indie Spirit Award for Best Short Film: “Surpise!” Fabrice Maruca

Indie Spirit Award for Best Documentary Short Film:  “I Am A Man: From Memphis A Lesson in Life” John Hubbell 

Indie Hope Award for Best Student Film: “stereolife” Benjamin Epps

Best Music in a narrative film:  Jaroslaw Bester & Carlos Bica – “Goodnight Irene”

Best Music in a Documentary:  Matt Morris, Producer – “Pickin’ n Trimmin’”
 
Best Cinematography:  Kenneth Wilson – “In/Significant Others”
 
Best Cinematography In a Documentary:  David Schmidt – “Pickin’ n Trimmin’”

Best Screenplay:  Wes Edwards – “Falling to the Top”

Best Actor:  Andrew Jenner – “Altar”

The festival will continue through Sunday, so there are plenty of films still to see!

Just a reminder, the greatest movie ever made, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus starring Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas, is on the SyFy Channel tonight.  While I do recommend watching it, you’ll need the DVD to enjoy Film Is Pwn’s iRiff of the film.  So, yeah, you could watch Mega Shark for free tonight, or you could go down to the local Blockbuster, rent a copy, then go to Rifftrax and buy the hi-larious audio commentary Tom and I have up for sale there.  Or, I guess you could like go out on a Saturday night on a date, help feed the homeless, or some other pointless activity that doesn’t involve cheap computer generated sharks biting the Golden Gate Bridge.  Loser.

Updated 8/30/09: For those who missed it, there’s an encore of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus on next Sunday night on SyFy, September 6th.  Mark your calendars!

Christopher Nolan’s next film looks totally awesome. Too bad it doesn’t come out until 2010:

For the first time in my life, there’s a bad movie in my living room and I’m scared . . .

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I loved last year’s Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, though my cohort Tom Stephens dissented (you can read about the disagreement chronicled, so to speak, here).

But everyone who saw the film and knows me – an ardent bear enthusiast – commented on one throwaway line given to Narnia’s bear.  Behold the line, and see for yourself:
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The greatest, shocking twist ending never filmed from last Fall’s blockbuster, teenage girl-loves-Vampire classic Twilight: (more…)

Apparently this is a real movie and this is a real trailer – I’d describe it, but I don’t think words exist to summarize this.  Be forewarned, it’s not a “approved for all audiences,” though the graphic violence is so cheesy all but the most sensitive will not be offended by it, methinks: (more…)

I’ve never heard of this movie, but I may have to get a copy, if for no other reason than to enjoy this hi-larious riffing from the crew at Rifftrax.  Enjoy this wee little sample:
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The latest film from noted disaster film maker Roland Emmerich, 2012.  Of course, when I say that Roland is a “noted disaster film maker,” I mean that “it has been noted that Roland Emmerich’s films are total disasters.”  The man has been gradually devolving in terms of film quality from the pretty doggone good Stargate, to the initially entertaining than gradually frustrating Independence Day, to the just plain wretched Godzilla (1998) remake, to the so bad it’s funny Day After Tomorrow (2004), to the abominable cave man action film 10,000 B.C.

Like most the rest of Roland’s canon, in 2012 it appears the Earth faces annihilation from an ancient Mayan prediction.  Scared yet?  Keep your eye out for the new way they’ve figured out how to destroy the White House,  soaked with implausible, hilarious irony: