Film is Pwn

Starring: Denzel Washington, Eva Mendes, Sanaa Lathan, Dean Cain
Directed By: Carl Franklin

Most movies take place in three acts which blend seamlessly to create the narrative story arc.  Out of Time is no different, except that the difference between the first act and the second act is staggering.

The first act introduces us to Denzel Washington, the Sheriff of a small town in Southern Florida.  Denzel is recently divorced from Eva Mendes (his first mistake) and currently having an affair with a married woman, Ann Merai.  Perhaps the greatest unanswered question of Out of Timeis: Was the character Ann Merai’s parents to some degree dyslexic, but this topic is sadly never broached though it rages to everyone of us who have gone to imdb.com to see how to spell her name.  How do you solve a problem like Ann Merai?  Well, I can’t just use the actor’s name in her place (as I’m doing with everyone else in the film) because Ann Merai is played by Sanaa Lathan.  “Sanaa” is not easier to say and she is not yet a household name, despite her breakout performance in Alien vs. Predator.  But I digress . . .

Back on topic, by Hollywood morality standards, Denzel and Ann Merai’s affair is morally acceptable because Ann Merai’s husband is a jerk.  The jerk husband in this case is played by Dean Cain, noted B-list actor and star of the iconic c-list film Dragon Fighter in a brief reprieve from movie limbo to get to act opposite an A-lister like Denzel.  The next time Cain would get quite so close to the A-list is when he did a guest appearance on CSI: Miami.  Of course, the closest CSI:Miami gets to the A-list is the fact that ”star” David Caruso (and I use the word “star” loosely) once got to work with Russell Crowe.   To be fair, Cain does all right for himself in Out of Time, and isn’t at all out of place (like David Caruso when working with Russell Crowe).

Soap opera quality drama ensues as Dean Cain suspects his wife is sleeping with Denzel.  To complicate things (insert dramatic organ music here) Ann Merai contracts a fatal disease and can’t afford the medication for treatment without selling off some of the unnecessary vowels in her name, which she patently refused to do out of principal.  Ann Merai sucks Denzel into her doctor visits and attempts to secure a pre-death life-insurance payout of some sort, but it falls through.  Coincidentally, Sheriff Denzel happens to be sitting on oodles of cash in the station evidence locker from a high-profile drug bust, evidence that will likely be in limbo for some time.

Ever the well-intentioned gullible sap, Denzel decides he can “borrow” the money to “loan” to Ann Merai.  At this point I would like to quote the woman sitting in front of me in the theater when I first saw this film: “Don’t trust her, Denzel!”

Never one to listen to the advice of people watching his movies, Denzel gives Ann Merai the money.  As soon as he does, Ann Merai’s house burns down and she and Dean Cain are presumed dead, the money gone.  The fire marks the end of act one and the beginning of the actually entertaining section of movie.

From here, you see, Denzel is left in a rather awkward position: He’s the Sheriff in charge of an arsonist’s double-homicide and the natural course of the investigation is leading to the mysterious man Ann Merai friends think was having an affair with Ann Merai, a logical suspect although Denzel knows the mystery man is himself.  Neighbors who saw a suspicious character around the house the night before say the guy looked like Denzel, which Denzel laughs off smoothly as, “So he was good looking?”

Denzel is feverishly attempting to conduct his own side-investigation with the facts only he knows but cannot divulge without implicating himself of murder and confessing to creative borrowing, i.e. theft, of evidence.

If that’s not enough, the aforementioned evidence is being called upon prematurely by a hard nosed F.B.I. agent who is unwilling to accept a bureaucratic runaround from a panicked Denzel.  Oh, and if THAT is not enough, Denzel’s ex-wife and local homicide investigator is put on the case (insert wacky sitcom music here).

Out of Timefalls in the “not great, and only barely good” categories.  The beginning is tedious and predictable to the point of it being painful and the conclusion is rather pedestrian.  Still, there are some great, fun scenes like the one where Denzel is being chased just out of sight of police pursuers, determined to keep his secret safe, hides the crucial evidence he took from the scene, then turns around and pretends like he is in pursuit of the unknown suspect and doesn’t know where he went.

Out of Time isn’t worth making time to check out, but on a lazy night it could make for an entertaining alternative to NCSIS: Des Moines, or whatever crap Dean Cain is guest starring on these days.