Film is Pwn

Imagine a future where you will be able to send an android double to go watch terrible movies like Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan in Cop Out.  That is – sorta – the idea behind Surrogates.

In this near future sci-fi-thriller, humans live life from the comfort of their homes as their robotic stand-ins work, play, and party on their behest.  Still trying to get your head around Surrogates?  Think Avatar except no blue aliens and minus about a billion dollars in box office receipts.

The Surrogates themselves are in some cases idealized representations of humans.  Give me a robot that looks just like me except 50 pounds lighter, perfect hair, toned calves, and literal abs of steel, please!  In other instances, the Surrogate embodies nauseous role-playing.  One attractive blonde Surrogate turns out to be a fat dude living out his own fantasy and my nightmare.  Who hasn’t dreaded finally meeting Ms. Right and discovering that she’s secretly Horatio Sanz?  Just me?  *Sigh* (more…)

James Cameron is working on a prequel to Avatar, his insanely successful blockbuster.  Fortunately, this prequel is going to be a NOVEL.  So none of those distracting visuals just the story, and characters, and . . . uh . . . here’s hoping the cover is pretty.  See the article here.

Wesley Snipes says he’d do Blade 4 if the script was right.  In related news, Wesley Snipes is one bad film away personal appearances at birthday parties or — dare I say it? — an Asylum movie.  Insert your own joke here.

I recently saw a great little independent film called Following.  Generally I tend to avoid independent flicks because, quite frankly, they generally fall into one of three categories: Pretentious, amateurish, or crap.   But, every so often, there comes one that’s different, intriguing, inventive, and the sign of greatness.  Darren Arrenofsky’s Pi comes to mind, as does Primer.  Today’s subject, Following, was the feature debut of Christopher Nolan, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise that it falls into the rare category of great indy film.

In my view, Nolan’s decade (from 2000-2009) is better than any other director working.  In that time he’s given us Memento (my all-time favorite film), Insomnia (underrated Al Pacino-Robin Williams thriller), Batman Begins (revitalized the dying franchise with a brilliant flick), The Prestiege (superb mind-bender featuring Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale as rival magicians), and the Dark Knight (’nuff said).  Nolan’s next movie is Inception starring Leonardo Dicaprio, the movie I’m most looking forward to this Summer. (more…)

Meteor Apocalypse is the first film I watched from the Asylum’s sister-low-budget-studio, Faith Films.  I’ll sum up Meteor Apocalypse with two adjectives that have quite possibly never been applied in a film review: “Relieved” and “Satisfied.”

Yes, it’s a bad movie, but please let me explain: I am a Christian and thereby had a vested interest in the movie.  Most Asylum releases I sit back and enjoy the B-movie goodness as “so-bad-it’s-good.”  But this wasn’t just a B-movie, it’s a Christian B-movie!  So, Meteor Apocalypse I had a little emotional investment. 

Why do I care?  To get a perspective, imagine you’re watching a bunch of kids play T-ball.  They are running around aimlessly, falling down arbitrarily, getting distracted by passing clouds, and one is attempting to chew on the baseball rather than throw it back into the infield.  Kinda funny, right?  Not if your kid is the worst of the bunch; then it’s embarrassing. But if your kid is as good as all the other bad kids, it’s okay! (Right? Someone with kids back me up on this!) (more…)

According to this article, Ashton Kutcher (who technically is a movie star) is being sent by the “State Department to Russia as part of a tech delegation.”  As long as he’s not there to make movies, I think this is a very, very good thing.  I support stimulus money going to getting Mr. Kutcher a permanent residence in Russia.  While were at it,  I’d like to answer the number one question in the country right now:  Why is Ashton Kutcher a movie star?  Because nature abhors a vacuum.

The Asylum took a break from doing low-budget knock-offs of big-budget blockbusters last summer and gave the world cult favorite Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.  Allegedly the original b-movie king, Roger Corman, is turning the tables on the Asylum and taking a page out of their book.  On that note, I say: Behold Sharktapus!

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You might think I’m referring to the fact that the writer/director/actor Kevin Smith (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, etc.) was recently kicked off an airplane for being too overweight.  But I’m not.  I’m referring to the fact that onetime indy film auteur’s latest film is the ultimate in bland, generic, buddy cop comedy Cop Out starring Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan. Poor, poor Kevin Smith: (more…)

The horror movie “The Gingerdead Man” can be found in the DVD section marked “Yes, this movie actually exists.”  Other films in this section include, but are not limited to, Mansquito, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster, and Jonas Brothers in 3-D.

All these films had a screenwriter who took the time off from his job at Sbarro to pen a script.  Actors signed on to the project either out of desperation or out of a game of truth or dare gone horribly, horribly wrong.  A director agreed to participate after failing to land that lucrative Caveman sitcom gig.  And perhaps most galling, someone, perhaps a billionaire hopped up on ether, gave these souls money to make it happen.  How did the stars align for these feature films but my own screenplay, Smokey the Bear vs. Alexander the Great: To the Pain! remains in limbo?  Who knows, but this isn’t about me selling that screenplay (contact me at DanielRoos1978@hotmail.com if you know anyone interested!). (more…)

The script is almost done, and the light is green!  Check out the source here. (more…)

My favorite director, Christopher Nolan (Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestiege, The Dark Knight, etc.) has reportedly been brought in to oversee (not direct) another Superman reboot, while he’s still working on the third Batman film.  See the article from Deadline Hollywood here.  Nothing but good news, if you ask me.

The best movie I saw at the vaunted Charlotte Film Festival back in September (2009) was for a little Irish, ghost story called The Eclipse.  I’m not a big fan of scary movies, but this was my kind of scary (Sixth Sense rather than Saw VI).  Maybe the Eclipse caught me at the right time and in the right environment — a theater full of people who had seen nothing but *cough* lousy indies all week — but I loved this movie.  Read my review here.  Finally the trailer has been released, and here it is: