Film is Pwn

I watched so many tree-hugger movies this weekend. Whether it was Avatar or a host of documentaries I was berated with sustainability and social responsibility. This didn’t really happen on purpose at first, though the last of the 3 documentaries I’m going to discuss came from realizing trend and figuring I might as well keep it going.

I can admit to being a tree-hugger. I’m pretty environmentally/socially conscious. I’m very aware of my food: I read labels, eat mostly organic and/or locally grown product. In fact, I have a fairly large vegetable garden, I raise chickens and I used to have quail as well. I buy from socially responsible companies for the most part. I’ve researched alternative energy on my home and I’m concerned about climate change.

But, I don’t sit around preaching about it. I made my decisions and you are free to make yours. This is always the problem with documentaries about these types of issues. They have an opinion they want you to form. They know what they want you to think and figure they have your attention for 2 hours so they can use it to force their thoughts down your throat. Sometimes strong language is important and sometimes there are messages to get across. However, I just don’t think most documentaries get it right.

What I love about documentaries is information. Although, I generally want unbiased information, or at least an admission of bias if it exists. That’s why I had to give my disclaimer above. So don’t think I didn’t already partially agree with the documentaries I watched, therefore my opinions are well… what they are.

Below are reviews for:

1. Food, Inc.
2. Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices
3. King Corn

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Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Yancy Butler, Lance Henriksen, Arnold Vosloo
Directed by: John Woo

As an added bonus, this isn’t just a blog on a Jean-Claude Van Damme film, this, my friends, is the legendary team-up of Van Damme and Hong Kong’s logic defying director John Woo, Hard Target! Before you get your expectations too high, Hard Target, like most John Woo or JCVD films, has one idea (seldom original or clever), a lot of action, and no brains.

The idea is that there are a group of bad guys, led by Lance Henriksen (looking much like an evil Conan O’Brien) and Arnold Vosloo (a.k.a. the Mummy from the Mummy), who run an operation that allows wealthy men to hunt and kill homeless combat veterans for sport. The film opens as we see the latest victim, Bluto from the Popeye cartoons, who falls to an arrow in the curiously vacant streets of New Orleans. One interesting fact learned from the movie involving New Orleans is that the city contains zero residents not required by the plot either at night or during the day. (I assume they saved money by not hiring any extras and used the additional funds to blow more stuff up.) (more…)

Being a father there are certain things I have learned to accept: 2AM feedings, changing diapers, potty training, etc… but this weekend I experienced something that I don’t think I will ever be able to come to terms with – Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.  Perhaps I have been spoiled by children’s films such as Up and Wall-E which are not only aimed at children, but well written and well executed.  Chipmunks was neither. (more…)

I had to see Avatar. I’m not sure I had another choice in the matter. The buzz oozing from every orifice of movie goers round the world insisted upon it. The bad news is I rarely think as highly of movies with this much buzz. District 9 comes to mind.

For starters, James Cameron is talented. Very talented. He managed to bring life to a story I saw coming within the first ten minutes. He managed to make it interesting, heartwarming and very much engaging. The world was interesting and fresh, even if the story was tired. Somehow he managed to make me look past the thousand plot holes as I sat in the theater. My mind was fixated on the Na’vi and the inevitability of their story.

Visually it was pretty significant (it’s what everyone is talking about), the use of 3D mixed with live action was impressively done. The use of CGI with live action didn’t strike me as especially great or ground-breaking but I’ve seen a lot of movies so maybe that has something to do with it. Biologically I think his world had issues. For instance, why did all of his creatures seem to be carnivores despite mass quantities of jumbo size vegetation? But that’s nitpicking. The world is beautiful, fun and fairly scientifically accurate.

I hate that this film was so socially and politically charged. I like social cause movies and when it’s done well it can really be great. I think of “Hotel Rwanda” which though it wasn’t really accurate it shined a light on a grim reality; which I think is always a good thing. Avatar though didn’t shine light on a grim reality; it was preaching to the choir. The people who agreed with the message would cheer and those who didn’t would groan or get angry.

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I’m a regular viewer of the At The Movies TV show, formerly known as Siskel & Ebert/Ebert & Roeper.  At the Movies is currently hosted by two film critics whose opinions I enjoy even when I disagree, A.O. Scott of the New York Times and Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune.  For the past ten weeks Scott & Phillips have been unveiling their picks for the top ten movies of the decade.  While Scott & Phillips are entertaining and knowledgable film critics, they are your classic film critics.  By that I mean they are prone to like dull, subtitled, Belgian films about the angst of existence when normal humans would prefer a good action film. 

I still count myself as a “normal” fan of movies, despite two years of writing film reviews.  I’m going to give you my favorite ten movies of the decade, but first, let me share with you their selections, with my comments in bold. (more…)

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Tony Kgoroge, Patrick Mofokeng
Directed By: Clint Eastwood

I can unequivocally say that Invictus is now officially my all-time favorite Rugby movie ever. (more…)

I saw this little film years ago, and it is fun/bad movie delight. It takes the overused concept of “Evil Santa” and makes it entertaining by turning the volume up to 11. Behold the wonder that is Santa’s Slay: (more…)

I am not usually one to write up the death of an actor or actress. Let’s be honest, with the amount of films that come out every year, not to mention 1000+ channels of nonsense on television statistically we should be losing people every day. Throw in the lifestyle that so many of these people leave it is surprising that they have enough people to keep Hollywood going. Well, I guess that is why Paris Hilton gets work – she has the uncanny ability to keep herself from overdosing, and her ego is just beyond the point where it collapses in upon itself creating a black hole of conceit so large that it consumes all of media.Today however I wanted to pay tribute to Brittany Murphy who died today after suffering full cardiac arrest.

In the early 1990’s, Brittany had recurring roles in in shows like Drexell’s Class and Almost Home, but her big break came when she starred as Tai opposite Alicia Silverstone in 1995’s Clueless. After scoring a role in Drop Dead Gorgeous in 1999, she gave a brilliant performance as Daisy Randone in Girl, Interrupted. Despite much of the hubbub surrounding the movie being about the performances or Angelina Jolie and Winona Ryder, Murphy gave her own very good and rather disturbing performance. Roles in many major films followed, such as Summer Catch, Riding in Cars with Boys, 8 Mile, Sin City and a voice role in Happy Feet. She also recorded a pair of songs for the movie. Voice acting was nothing new to Murphy who was the voice of Luanne in King of the Hill.

Sadly, you will be able to see her next year in The Expendables which has already finished filming, although I wouldn’t suggest it. Those who have read about/seen the trailer for this film will understand.

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver
Directed By: James Cameron

I have just witnessed what is allegedly the most expensive movie ever made, James Cameron’s gaudy, luminous follow-up to 1997’s Titanic, Avatar.  Yes, Cameron took a dozen years between releases, in part because he wanted to make Avatar and needed to wait for the technology to keep up with his vision.  What the dozen year lapse tells me is that the shiny spectacle in Avatar is way more important than other little elements like story and characters, and it shows.

The key characters are the alien race called the Na’vi who are sadly impossible for me to take seriously.  They’re giant, blue-skinned humanoid creatures with tails and long necks.  Think if Smurfette mated with Randy Johnson. If that image doesn’t conjure up what the Na’vi look like, imagine a race of blue Jar Jar Binks’. Get the picture? (more…)

The live show — broadcast in theaters nationwide — ruled.  “Weird” Al Yankovic’s appearance was one comic bit and he joined the crew on riffing one short, on the joys of pork of all things.  The rest was a calvacade of short films most involving insane Santa Clauses or creepy Christmas cheer being riffed endlessly.  The highlight was a 1940s, animated Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, that features Santa propositioning Rudolph in his reindeer bed with the phrase, “Rudolph, I need you tonight!”  It riffs itself.  Classic stuff, I laughed ’til I hurt.

Here’s clips from random shorts, not all the shorts presented tonight:

Summer 2010 is already looking better than Summer 2009.  Check out the trailer for Iron Man 2 here.

Heartbreak Ridge is one of the often overlooked and neglected Clint Eastwood movies, and not for no reason.  It’s not great enough to pop up on any “best movie” lists — or even top ten Clint flicks – but it’s good enough to be watched and play in endless rotation on a movie channel like AMC. If you’ll forgive a digression, AMC ought to be forced to change their moniker from something other than American Movie Classics after recently being caught red-handed airing Halle Berry’s Catwoman.  When you let “Catwoman” in the door as a “classic,” what movie can’t be considered a classic? Can Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus be far behind?

There’s a lot working for Heartbreak Ridge, one being director and star Clint Eastwood.  Eastwood rarely makes movies that aren’t either “darn good” or  “a lot of fun,” although I should note that I have yet to see any movies where he co-starred with a monkey.  Just a note on that note: I have no intention of EVER seeing any of those Eastwood monkey movies, as I have maintained my respect for him even after seeing him singing with Lee Marvin. (more…)