Film is Pwn

As you may or may not know or care, Film is Pwn on the “Screeners list” at our friends at the Asylum — the studio that brought us and the world such classics as Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and the TerminatorS — which is the ONLY studio we’ve actually contacted to get on the distribution list.  The problem with getting on too many of these lists is that you’re kind of obligated to review the DVDs when you get them, and I don’t want to be stuck reviewing season Season One of Saved By the Bell: The College Years. 

All year, the Asylum has churned out the kind of movie I love — low-budget, fun/bad Sci-Fi/action stuff.  The Film is Pwn staff eagerly anticipates the arrival of these DVDs, and drop everything at a moments notice to assemble at the Pwn Cave when the DVD comes.  But, as I mentioned in my Odds ‘n Ends blog from a few days ago, the latest Asylum release is an exception.  It’s a unrated, unratable stoner comedy called “Sex-Pot” that boasts being a cross between “Harold & Kumar” and “Half-Baked,” but looks more like the worst movie we’ve ever seen, National Lampoon’s Gold DIggers.   *Shudder* 

There was no way I was going to tackle this alone, so my partner in Pwnage Tom Stephens came over tonight, and we popped in Sex-Pot determine to make it through.  Remember, eleven months ago Tom and I sat through the 10 lowest rated movies EVER on Rotten Tomatoes in one day, so we know how to endure bad movies. 

Bottom line, we made it 10 minues.  Tom made note on his way out the door that his round-trip commute is seven times longer than the time we spent watching the film.  (We did spend some time writing for our next iRiff project, tease, tease!)

In fairness, this is a review of only those minutes.  It’s possible that Sex-Pot became a funny comedy in the rest of the film, but I sincerely doubt it. 

Sex-Pot is what it’s advertised to be, a disgustingly raunchy, sexed up, stoner movie that is not content with plenty of topless women and very quickly shows us lots of bottomless women too.  Though the vast number of masterbation jokes should not be discounted either. 

There’s nothing remotely funny in the first 10 minutes, and I think they might want to add a laughtrack to let us know which parts of the film were supposedto be funny.  I hated this movie, but I’m not the target audience – I’m a Christian who never drank, did drugs, slept around, or thought Cheech & Chong were funny.  Perhaps if Tom and I were high, we might have enjoyed the film slightly. Of course, if movies have taught me nothing else, it’s that when you’re high you can even enjoy Joel Schumacher movies.

Anyone out there want to watch this movie and do a real review?  Shannon?  Brian?  Lawrence? JMZ, you still out there?  Sorry, Asylum, I can’t watch the rest of this movie, but this is your first movie I have to give the rating of “Skip It” and put it on our dreaded “Banned By The Geneva Convention list.” 

–Daniel J. Roos still thinks Sex-Pot is better than National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers

This is the Asylum’s trailer for Sex-Pot. Watch at your own risk (I haven’t seen it myself, I can’t speak to it’s crudeness, but I’m assuming since there are at least fifty seconds of movie footage it’s quite stupid and offensive):