Film is Pwn

The question is not, “Is the Spirit a terrible movie?” for that answer is no more complicated than a straightforward “Yes.”  Rather, the enigmatic riddle of the hour is “WHY is the Spirit so utterly, inarguably terrible?”

The Spirit is based on a long neglected comic strip by Will Eisner; the character “the Spirit” is one of the earliest super powered superheroes, and though he has long been neglected by modern fans though reputedly revered by industry insiders.

The film version of the Spirit was written and directed by comic book legend Frank Miller, the man who revitalized Batman in the 80s, and whose original creations include 300 and Sin City.   I cannot speak to Will Eisner’s the Spirit, but the style of the film is a carbon copy of Robert Rodriguez’s Sin City film (which was rigidly devoted to the Frank Miller source material), but somehow the Spirit gets old far faster than Sin City did.  It was about the halfway point when I wanted to escape Sin City, the gimmick having grown old, yet I wanted to eject the Spirit after a mere five minutes.  The movie is a comic book brought to life with flesh and blood actors walking around a “drawn” world; once the novelty wears off, the entertainment evaporates.

The story is almost an afterthought, with the Spirit cascading around computer generated landscapes battling his arch nemesis the Octopus.  There is some layer of intrigue involving the origins of the Spirits powers and how it relates to the Octopus, but it is largely superfluous when compared to concocting “arty” shots.  If not for forcing some visual flair, I can’t fathom the motivation to parade the villains played by Scarlett Johansson and Samuel L. Jackson in Nazi uniforms as they interrogate the captured Spirit, which totally undermines the underpinnings of plot being undermined.

There are about four or five femme fatales/damsels in distress crammed in for good measure, the most memorable being Eva Mendes as a black widow and the Spirit’s old flame “Sand Saref.”  Though existing on every spectrum of the good girl/bad girl spectrum, none of the ladies achieve any personality more defined than cardboard.  There are plenty of arresting visual shots that would make a great splash page in the comic book medium, but on film the results are tedious at best.

The character of the Spirit is a clean-cut crime-fighter in a world that is a bizarre amalgamation of modern day technology and 1930s style, syntax, and culture.  The Spirit is chivalrous, well-mannered, and presents himself as an ideal role model.   He signs autographs, tells kids to brush their teeth, and in response to an asinine question posed by a gushing female reporter, the Spirit thanks the women of “his” city for being so beautiful.  This is intended to cheesy, I think, but was not intended to make me wish to punch my television, which in fact it did.

I wish to pause this dissection of the retro, “do-gooder” disposition of the Spirit to state for the record I find not a single one of these traits in themselves irksome in the slightest; as an old fashioned old man, I consider the boyscout aspect a major plus.

What is bothersome about the Spirit from my perspective is that there is nothing else to his character other than the “goody-two-shoes” nature.  There are some quirks thrown in for good measure — the affinity for cats, to name but one — but largely we are witnessing a creation devoid of either heart or soul in a faux city crammed full of broad caricatures and stereotypes.

Gabriel Macht, the relative neophyte in the title role, is not at fault, as none of the seasoned vets and crowd favorites such as Mendes, Johansson, and the ever reliable Sam Jackson can make anything in the turgid material stick out.  Imagine Jackson bellowing lines like, “Toilets are always funny!” and you may know a fraction of the pain watching this film caused me.

The only lingering memory I have of the Spirit at all is a prolonged, over-the-top battle between the Octopus and the Spirit that lasts for a seeming eternity in the opening minutes of the movie.  The hero and villain engage in a war in the mud, smashing each other with various objects up to and including the kitchen sink, and it’s unclear whether the scene is intended to be perceived as action or slapstick comedy; I imagine it was suppose to be both, but it only succeeded in making me stare in stunned disbelief.

I cannot recommend that you evade the Spirit more strongly.  The trailer is a sufficient quantity of the gimmick on display, and I think on second glance that even that might be a pinch too much.

Lawrence D. Oso