Film is Pwn

In my December movie preview, I lamented that there was no destination movie for my family’s annual Christmas Day movie excursion.  The film that ultimately won the prize was The Day The Earth Stood Still, with a general consensus that it was the only movie no one vetoed.  My expectations were low, and the film still didn’t hit the mark. 

The film involves an alien named Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) that comes to Earth in a glowing sphere straight out of the Michael Crichton film adaptation Sphere, hoping to speak to the world leaders, but is instead imprisoned and interrogated by the government.  Scientist Helen (Jennifer Connelly) helps Klaatu escape, and she and her stepson Jacob (Jaden Smith, son of Will) ultimately end up on the run with Klaatu trying to evade authorities as they attempt to convince Klaatu not to annihilate the Earth.

Why is Klaatu going to eradicate humanity?  Because humans are “destructive,” is pretty much all we’re told.  There are precious few habitable planets, Klaatu tells Helen, and the aliens can’t afford to let us waste this one.  Or something like that.  Klaatu says, “If the Earth dies, you die. If the human race dies, the Earth survives.”  Fortunately, when Klaatu asks Helen to take him to their leader, she takes him to John Cleese, not Al Gore, or we’d all be toast.

The original The Day The Earth Stood Still from 1951 is one of the all-time science fiction classics, as recently reviewed by my esteemed colleague Lawrence Oso.  The remake pays homage to the classic in a few scenes, but its changes are all for the worse.

Part of the original’s charm is in that the first ten minutes involve the arrival of the flying saucer (not mysterious orb) as the entire Earth stands still at the extraterrestrial visitation. In the original, there isn’t a single character introduction until Klaatu emerges; there is a woman and her son who show Klaatu what humanity has to offer, but they aren’t the stars by any stretch of the imagination.  The remake isn’t so much how the Earth stood still as it’s how a woman and her disaffected stepson’s relationship stood still. 

The original The Day The Earth Stood Still features Michael Rennie as Klaatu is an alien that looks like a human, but the remake has to go through a rather dull process of how the aliens acquired human DNA, and the alien basically wears a human body.  The original’s robot guardian Gort is an iconic figure, and the similarly designed but vastly different Gort in the remake is a dime-a-dozen computer graphic.  Don’t get me wrong, the new Gort does some cool things and it looks nifty, it’s just any big budget sci-fi movie these days has equally good graphics. 

Michael Rennie’s rendition (Rennidition?) of Klaatu is as a polite, concerned visitor who feels affinity for humans in general.  Keanu Reeves’ Klaatu is unattached and dispassionate, either by choice or because that’s how Keanu Reeves appears at any time.  I can almost see co-star Jaden Smith staring at the dull Keanu Reeves and thinking that his Dad Will Smith has more charisma in his sleep.

The threat-o-meter of the remake is higher, mainly due to its Klaatu’s curious willingness to abandon his mission and resort to annihilation at the drop of a hat, but the why-do-I-care?-o-meter is much lower.

The original’s Klaatu lives anonymously among humans for a time, befriending a cute kid (Billy Gray) and his Mom (Patricia Neal) and visiting inspiring landmarks like the Lincoln Memorial, so you can understand why he’d be willing to sacrifice it all to save the Earth.  (Also, Klaatu meets Aunt Bea herself – Frances Bavier – so who couldn’t love humanity after that?)  After watching the remake’s Klaatu visit Earth, causing the planet’s destruction seems understandable. There’s no hope in the 2008 version, and the 1951 film is overflowing with hope.

Bottom line, the remake is slow and preachy, without a heart or a purpose.  The original The Day The Earth Stood Still is a classic.  Go find rent/buy the original – now! 

–Daniel J. Roos