Film is Pwn

My colleagues Tom Stephens and Mr. Oso have recently posted blogs trashing on movies they have not seen, The Love Guru and Disaster Movie, respectively, and I feel the need to take a stab at it myself.  We are, after all, the film critics who condemn movies we haven’t seen. 

Some movies do not need to be seen to know they are horrible, and among the previews for Wall-E was Beverly Hills Chihuahua. 

The only interest I have in Beverly Hills Chihuahua is finding out who exactly thought it was a good idea and who financed the movie.  If you are feeling brave and will not be operating heavy machinery in the next twenty-four hours, feel free to watch the unadulterated trailer:

A quick trip to imdb.com reveals that the cast of vocal actors and live action performers include Drew Barrymore, George Lopez, Salma Hayek, Andy Garcia, Jamie Lee Curtis, and opera star Placido Domingo.  The late film critic Gene Siskel was fond of asking regarding bad movies with a interesting cast (and I paraphrase), “Is the movie better than a documentary of the actors having lunch?”  I think the answer will be “no.”

Now, the only positive I foresee emerging from the existence of Beverly Hills Chihuahua is this little gem of a youtube video.  The video is from Rifftrax.com, which features some of the former cast members of Mystery Science Theater 3000 providing downloadable audio commentaries for high profile movies like Independence Day, Battlefield Earth, Eragon, and others.  They take the scene from the M. Night Shyamalan classic the Sixth Sense where the kid visits a little girls funeral, talks to the ghost of the girl, and takes the mourning father a video showing that the girl had been murdered by her mother.  Instead of the video of the girl, which at first makes the father smile, then descend into horror at what his wife has done, Rifftrax substitutes the trailer above.  It is priceless.

–Daniel J. Roos